The Older Gentleman
2004-11-12 20:09:27 UTC
My deputy editor is emigrating to Australia, the jammy git. This puts us
in a quandary, because the only bod who can really fill his boots is our
new boy - well, I say "new" but he only joined us three years ago as a
graduate trainee. Yes, he's that good.
So we have a vacancy for a trainee journalist.
Details: this is a global commodities weekly newspaper, sold on
subscription only, and with a *very* strong international reputation. We
cover processed products that are traded globally. In order of
importance, these are fruit juices, canned foods, tomato products, dried
fruits and nuts, frozen fruit and veg, herbs & spices, dairy products,
and seafood.
There's a full-time editorial staff of five, plus a freelance corps.
Whoever gets the job will be put to work on the canned foods sector,
where our previous new lad started. Canned fruits, veg, fish (mostly
tuna), meat (not a lot of that).
Good points:
1. A chance to get into journalism at the ground floor. Training will be
done by our chief reporter, who's a hack of the old school and
brilliant, and yours truly when it comes to DTP and Quarky things.
2. Superb prospects - our new lad (who is, admittedly, exceptional) has
gone from trainee to highly-regarded (and well-paid) bod in three years.
I think he's destined for Fleet Street, myself.
3. Foreign travel - the current incumbent was with us for two months
before we sent him, on his tod, out to Malaysia. He's also since been to
Thailand, South Africa, Greece, Spain, China, France and Chile.
4. Not a bad company to work for, all told.
5. Based in Tunbridge Wells.
Bad points:
1. Based in Tunbridge Wells.
2. No understanding of the word "overtime". Because the Far East and the
Americas are on wildly different time zones from us, the lucky soul will
frequently find themselves either having to get in early or having to
leave late in order to talk to The People Who Matter.
3. Not a vast starting salary. Over 15k is all I'll say. OK for a
young'un - not good for anybody with kids to support. However, as I've
said, future salary prospects are very, very good.
I really don't give a damn about any qualifications - the key thing is
the ability to write utterly fluent, coherent, properly punctuated and
grammatical English. So guardians of the feral apostrophe have no
chance. All applicants are set a nasty test to see how well they can
write. It tends to weed out 90% of them.
An ability to understand how markets rise and fall is useful. A
familiarity with Macs ditto, but neither is essential. The ability to
cope under extreme deadline pressure goes without saying.
This will be the fifth trainee I've hired. The first one went on to edit
several other magazines. Two and three joined the mainstream women's
magazines. Four is the bloke I mention above. I've very chuffed that I
haven't hired a loser yet.
In short, if anyone wants to break into word butchery, this is a
God-given opportunity. Seriously. Note the spam trap in my email addie.
in a quandary, because the only bod who can really fill his boots is our
new boy - well, I say "new" but he only joined us three years ago as a
graduate trainee. Yes, he's that good.
So we have a vacancy for a trainee journalist.
Details: this is a global commodities weekly newspaper, sold on
subscription only, and with a *very* strong international reputation. We
cover processed products that are traded globally. In order of
importance, these are fruit juices, canned foods, tomato products, dried
fruits and nuts, frozen fruit and veg, herbs & spices, dairy products,
and seafood.
There's a full-time editorial staff of five, plus a freelance corps.
Whoever gets the job will be put to work on the canned foods sector,
where our previous new lad started. Canned fruits, veg, fish (mostly
tuna), meat (not a lot of that).
Good points:
1. A chance to get into journalism at the ground floor. Training will be
done by our chief reporter, who's a hack of the old school and
brilliant, and yours truly when it comes to DTP and Quarky things.
2. Superb prospects - our new lad (who is, admittedly, exceptional) has
gone from trainee to highly-regarded (and well-paid) bod in three years.
I think he's destined for Fleet Street, myself.
3. Foreign travel - the current incumbent was with us for two months
before we sent him, on his tod, out to Malaysia. He's also since been to
Thailand, South Africa, Greece, Spain, China, France and Chile.
4. Not a bad company to work for, all told.
5. Based in Tunbridge Wells.
Bad points:
1. Based in Tunbridge Wells.
2. No understanding of the word "overtime". Because the Far East and the
Americas are on wildly different time zones from us, the lucky soul will
frequently find themselves either having to get in early or having to
leave late in order to talk to The People Who Matter.
3. Not a vast starting salary. Over 15k is all I'll say. OK for a
young'un - not good for anybody with kids to support. However, as I've
said, future salary prospects are very, very good.
I really don't give a damn about any qualifications - the key thing is
the ability to write utterly fluent, coherent, properly punctuated and
grammatical English. So guardians of the feral apostrophe have no
chance. All applicants are set a nasty test to see how well they can
write. It tends to weed out 90% of them.
An ability to understand how markets rise and fall is useful. A
familiarity with Macs ditto, but neither is essential. The ability to
cope under extreme deadline pressure goes without saying.
This will be the fifth trainee I've hired. The first one went on to edit
several other magazines. Two and three joined the mainstream women's
magazines. Four is the bloke I mention above. I've very chuffed that I
haven't hired a loser yet.
In short, if anyone wants to break into word butchery, this is a
God-given opportunity. Seriously. Note the spam trap in my email addie.
--
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